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♥ Saturday, August 23, 2008
I've been thinking through lately, the roles of us in this relationship etc.I've been trying to find the reasons for my actions and emotions hoping to control them and be a better girlfriend. I can see the changes he have made and I do really hope that I am not a terrible girlfriend.I realise he actually FEARS me, fear that I would be angry at him and break up with him. This fear keeps him from doing certain things which I feel that it is also the reason he changed. Is this still considered love?
Fear that I would be mad if he never come and meet me, but that's not what I wanted. I miss you and hence wants to meet you, but the reason you meet up with me is because I want to meet you? What's that suppose to mean!? You don't miss me at all?! It's not like we meet everyday u know.
I've always believed that when you really love that person, a few days apart = miss damn lots. You get what I mean.I admit that every time he goes out with his friend till like damn late, there's this uneasiness going on in me. I think I have not gotten out from hurts in the past.I remembered one incident some time back when he was sick, I sent him home and we're slacking under his block and he received a message from his friend and 5 mins after that he asked me if I wanna go home and send me off before going to look for his friends. There were several times when we were outside and he received a message from his friend and straight away when to meet them. Another incident, there was once we only could meet once a week but instead of meeting me, he went to meet his friends. He have no idea how much i missed him. I was wondering, if you treat friends more importantly then your girlfriend, then why not we be friends again?! All these hurt and setbacks are the things that give me the uneasiness, the same feeling I have at that kinda times. I don't like it at all mans! Yeah I SOUND LIKE A CONTROL FREAK. I think I am!Not good... Trying to change manz!
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